Better Writing,
Better Business: Sales Letters
By Charlene Rashkow
Contributing Writer
Article Date: 02.13.03
Last week after sharing my views and reviews on web site content, several
people wrote requesting analysis of other types of written content particularly
sales letters. Those who had requested information were primarily interested
in effectively reaching their target audience and although each was introducing
a dynamic product, their situations required diverse responses. I have chosen
three different individuals to review since I believe their individual dilemmas
are probably faced by almost anyone trying to reach their intended market.
www.theSunCastle.com
My first review is for Chris and Paul of www.thesuncastle.com.
The owners of the site are promoting a very unique furniture line called the SunCastle,
an outdoor lounge chair that dates as far back as the 1800's. The chair, which
was originally designed for an elderly lady in Northern Germany, has grown and
developed over the years, gaining popularity and even being used in famous movies
such as Some Like it Hot. Today the two entrepreneurs work in close collaboration
with a manufacturer in Germany carrying on the tradition of what was originally
titled the Strandkorb and is now known as the SunCastle to those in the US.
Their question has to do with how to approach their target audience in a letter, since they have a two-fold purpose. First they would like to demonstrate just how fabulous the SunCastle lounge chair actually is and second they want their audience to be aware of the earning potential with SunCastle. In essence, they are trying to convey the potential for business opportunities without minimizing the impact of the beauty and elegance of their product. They wanted to know if it's possible to include it all effectively in a letter without going off on too many tangents thereby losing the attention of readers.
My recommendation to Chris and Paul as with any letter is that the first sentence must say something that invites the reader to go further. I would suggest acquainting the reader with the following: "We at SunCastle, Inc. would like to introduce you to a beautifully designed outdoor lounge chair that must be seen to be believed."
I would be enthusiastic in my approach but careful not to overkill. In this case, having something genuine to offer, means you have to convey a message that says, "Take the time to read my letter for it may very well prove to be beneficial to your company."
In the body of the letter, I would talk a little about the company, its reputation and where the company is located. If you've been acknowledged by peers, include that in the letter as well. You are trying to communicate your credibility so talk a bit about the product's history and its reputation. Explain the benefits and the simplicity of involvement with SunCastle. If you have some successful suggestions that others have used in regard to marketing your product, or if there is an incentive program, explain briefly but clearly. Your close should make it easy for your potential customer to find you so I suggest including all contact info but follow up with "you will be contacting them with a phone call within a week."
Chris and Paul have done a beautiful job in presenting their information on their web site which will surely bring a wide and interested audience. A letter will only enhance their efforts. The SunCastle lounge chair is something we would all love to see sitting in our own backyards, so I believe that before long, they will probably be too busy to sit back and relax as their beautiful lounge chair implies.
www.bvj.com
My second review is based on a letter that comes from Victoria and Bruce at www.bvj.com
requesting some input for an introductory letter in regard to an innovative software
application, known as BVJ Web View. The sophisticated yet simple to use software
application is designed to maximize the efficiency of large collections of data
through the managing and controlling of database information. Its primary feature
allows companies to share selective information in existing databases with those
needing the information in a safe, secure way. In as much as their product could
help any type of business, their dilemma was in explaining all of the many detailed
benefits in a letter. It was important to both Victoria and Bruce, that their
communication was as effective to the less technologically aware as well as to
the more savvy individual.
It was very obvious to me after reading through Victoria's letter that she and Bruce had something very dynamic to offer that could be of benefit to smaller and mid-sized companies but there was too much information in their letter. In an effort to make sure they were getting their message across effectively, they were attempting to say 'everything' about the software. That's a mistake that most people make when writing letters. Your audience only needs to hear the important basics about the product, which should be presented in such a way as to invite inquiries. In other words, a good letter will demonstrate how a product or service will serve and benefit.
Victoria and Bruce have an excellent database management system that will support many people, so their focus should be on simplicity. Instead of trying to include every aspect of the software in their letter, they need only to focus on the important points. Once a client expresses some interest, they can then get into the nitty gritty of their product.
Annonymous
My third review is based on a letter from a reader who had been sending out a
business letter to potential advertisers but it wasn't getting any response. Although
she had something new and exciting to present to her audience, I could see several
red flags immediately.
To illustrate, the opening sentence in her letter stated that she was planning to launch a health site, which was currently in the design stage. Announcing that her site was in the development stage might cause some people to shy away. However, although the site is in the planning and design stage doesn't mean she shouldn't send out letters. Her opening statement would have been more productive if she said that her company was about to launch a new and very innovative health site that would prove to be highly advantageous to anyone suffering from a health issue. An opening statement of that nature would have sounded a lot more engaging.
Secondly, the body of the letter was far too brief and didn't include nearly enough content to attract advertisers. I suggest that a letter of this nature and importance should be about a page in length. The new site will be offering many opportunities for readers as well as advertisers so I would suggest more meat to the body of her letter so her project is unmistakable. A little more enthusiasm and excitement of the project might bring a lot more inquiries.
Out of politeness the writer ended her note asking what they thought of the opportunity which in my opinion was a bit on the weak side. I would have been more confident in my close by saying: "This is an amazing opportunity to get your name out there which will ultimately fulfill many of your intended objectives. I sincerely hope that you will consider participating in our new venture."
For the woman who is constructing this very interesting and unique sounding site, I encourage her to be more dynamic and confident in her communication. It's a great idea and will probably receive a good deal of attention.
Selling yourself is not for the faint of heart because selling yourself requires sharing your product with imagination, confidence, and a positive attitude. As I've said in many of my other articles, your own enthusiasm has to be conveyed or no one else will get it or buy it. Effectively written content has a great deal of power, which means it must be used effectively to be powerful. For anyone getting ready to launch a new business or planning on constructing an introductory letter, I suggest that you give a good deal of thought as to how you can pique someone's interest. Think about what appeals and attracts when you receive any form of communication and apply the same principles when you write your own letter. Regardless of your product or service, good communication is the most important marketing tool available so when preparing to write a letter, share yourself with passion, simplicity and creativity.
About the Author:
Charlene Rashkow brings 15 years of experience as a Writing Stylist and Author
to her creative efforts as a freelance business writer/consultant. She has successfully
helped companies and individuals reach their objectives by writing outstanding
press releases, bios, articles of interest, business plans, resumes, web site
content and all other forms of marketing material. To speak with Charlene you
may contact her at www.allyourwritingneeds.com
or write her at info@allyourwritingneeds.com. You can also call her directly at
(310) 514-4844
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